How to Slow Dance at Semi Art of Manliness

It's prom flavour here in the United states of america. Millions of high school students volition exist taking role in this springtime ritual that got its start in the 1890s in the Northeast. Since then, every Apr young people have been donning tuxedos and dresses to consume, trip the light fantastic, and have a good fourth dimension. Some of my all-time memories from high school are from my prom nights (prom was for both juniors and seniors at my high school).

When information technology comes to prom, there are generally 2 groups of people: those that think "Prom is crawly! I'm really excited to go," and those that grouse, "Prom is sooo lame. What a waste product of time."

Actually, both groups are right. Prom can be a fun and memorable night, or it can be a big letdown. The difference doesn't come from prom itself, but what you make of it. Special nights don't just happen–you create them.

AoM has a surprising (and heartening) number of loftier school-age readers, so to help them plan and acquit out a successful and memorable prom nighttime, nosotros've created this comprehensive guide.

Ask the Girl

Probably the nearly of import step in this unabridged process…and the ane most fraught with pitfalls. Your enjoyment at prom volition depend heavily on the person yous take–cull the wrong gal and you and your friends will still be laughing nearly it 10 years later. If you're dating somebody, your choice is easy. Just take your girlfriend. If you lot're non dating somebody, you can always take a girl that's a friend. I did that for one of my proms and had a great time. Took away some of the romantic pressure that a lot of immature people experience at prom. We were merely interested in having a good time.

You can besides ask a girl you've had your middle on for awhile, but never had the nerve to ask on a engagement. Exist warned. There's some take chances in doing this. First, if y'all don't know the girl too well you lot might end upward having a bum time considering she'south a bum appointment–just because sitting behind her in algebra class and smelling her apple tree-scented pilus gives you butterflies, doesn't mean you lot'll connect one time you have to, you know, really have a chat. Second, girls can imbue a lot of meaning into an invite to prom from a guy. Some might think that it's the beginning pace into a serious relationship. If going steady (or whatever they call it these days) isn't in your plans, you'll have to navigate an emotional minefield when you let the gal know you're just looking for a prom date. Finally, she could say no. Being turned downwards past a gal you're interested in is e'er hard, but go on your chin up and discover somebody else.

Whomever you ask to prom, make certain you practice it about 2 months before the large shindig. Picking out a prom dress is a big deal for a girl and they'll want enough of fourth dimension to make the right choice. Asking 2 to one and a half months beforehand gives her fourth dimension to set.

How should you ask a girl to prom? I normally only pulled the girl bated during school and asked her straight up, "Would you lot like to go to prom with me?" Simple and got the chore washed. Some guys did some elaborate and creative invitations that rivaled wedding proposals. Chalk writing on driveways, creating poster boards using candy bars to create a message, treasure hunts, serenading Elvises…Kate tells me the ladies love this, so if that'southward your way, then become for information technology.

After y'all've secured a date, you'll need to buy tickets to get into prom. Purchase them as soon equally they go on sale.

Discover a Group

In my experience, attention prom with a group of friends is the fashion to go. Information technology just makes the nighttime more than enjoyable and removes a lot of the force per unit area a immature couple might experience if they were to become by themselves. The tricky role is figuring out who to group upward with. While y'all might desire to experience prom with your best buddy, your date might want to go with a dissimilar group. I never had a problem with this, but I tin see information technology happening and causing all sorts of high school drama. My advice: be flexible and play it cool no thing what grouping y'all cease up with. Even if yous don't accept dinner with your buds, you tin can still see them at the dance, and at after prom festivities.

Go Fitted for and Hire a Tux

Some 1950s bros in double-breasted white tuxedos. Your best bet is to go with a unproblematic black, single-button, peak lapel tux.

In most places in the U.S. prom is a black tie matter, so that ways you'll demand a tuxedo. For nigh men these days, whether young or old, life gives you lot very few chances to wear a tux–so enjoy it! Our resident style homo, Antonio Centeno, did an excellent video explaining exactly what a young man should wear to prom for his own site, Real Men, Real Mode, that should answer a lot of your questions about what to clothing:

Basically, Antonio suggests keeping information technology classic and simple. Y'all can't become wrong with a unmarried-button, peak lapel coat, a waist coat, and traditional tuxedo trousers. You lot want something where you tin can look dorsum at pictures twenty years later and think, "Human being, I looked dapper. And look how much pilus I had!"

Of course, y'all could have some fun too. You lot're young. There probably won't be another time in your life that you tin get away with wearing a zoot conform or a pulverization blue 1970s tuxedo to a formal matter, so if that's your thing and your date's okay with it, become for information technology. Just stay away from the duct tape tuxedos and neon-colored pimp hats. (Notation: The zoot conform and powder blue tux fleck is solely the responsibility of Brett McKay and does non necessarily reverberate the views of Mr. Antonio Centeno…who is probably shaking his caput right at present in disbelief.)

Rent your tux, don't buy. It doesn't brand sense for a person your age who's still growing and probably isn't attending a lot of black tie events to buy a tuxedo. Considering you lot're renting, y'all're not going to get a tuxedo that fits similar a custom suit, but endeavor to become something as shut as possible to information technology. If your tuxedo jacket fits well in the shoulders and in the breast, you're golden. Also, make sure the pants are as close to your size as possible.

Visit a rental place as before long equally you lot can to ensure y'all have the greatest possible choice to choose from. You'll accept to determine on what jacket style and shirt neckband type you want, whether you're going bow tie or cervix necktie, and whether or not you'll be wearing a waist coat or cummerbund. You can too hire shoes there if you need them. After yous've been fitted and have placed your lodge, the rental place will let you lot know when you can pick up your tux.

Continue track of all the stuff that comes in your rental bag, especially the small stuff like the tie and cufflinks. Make sure to render the tuxedo to the rental identify as before long as possible. Don't worry nigh laundering. They accept care of that.

Buy the Corsage

A corsage is a small arrangement of flowers that is normally worn on a adult female's wrist  or pinned to her dress. Traditionally, the guy is responsible for buying the corsage for the girl, and the daughter is responsible for buying a boutonniere for the guy.

The corsage needs to compliment the color of your date's clothes, and then you lot'll need to ask your date what color her apparel will exist.  You tin can also inquire if she has a favorite blossom. Make sure to enquire if her wearing apparel will be sleeveless or strapless too, as this will determine whether y'all should get a wrist or pinned corsage. When you get the information, caput over to a florist, and relay the data to them. They'll offer suggestions on flower types and color, as well every bit what sort of greenery to include in the corsage. Roses are a popular pick. Keep it small-scale and simple.

Florists get slammed at prom fourth dimension, and then don't wait until the last infinitesimal to order it. Two weeks before prom is enough of time. Also, don't  dump this job off on your mom considering y'all recollect it's "girly" to go into a flower shop. I knew a lot of guys in high school who did this. Total Dim motion.

Make Reservations for Dinner

Some schools offering dinners at the prom itself. If that's your situation, yous tin can skip this department. If your school's prom doesn't offering dinner, yous'll demand to find a place to eat before you head over to the dance. While yous may be going to prom in a large group, take the initiative in finding a identify for the group to swallow. In my experience, everyone in the group expects someone else will take on the responsibility. Might every bit well be you.

Picking a place to eat for a large group tin can be tricky. Everyone has different tastes that yous'll need to suit. Stay abroad from exotic and ethnic restaurants. Everyone might non share your passion for Indian food. Steakhouses and bistro-blazon places are a safe bet. They offer traditional fare that volition probable please most palates. Just make certain the place offers vegetarian dishes besides.

Choose a restaurant that'southward local and has a prissy ambiance. Prom nighttime is supposed to exist special. Don't spend it at the Olive Garden, Red Lobster, or P.F. Chang's where you'll have some dude wearing cargo shorts, a visor, and vivid orange Crocs sitting side by side to you. And ideally, you'll want to go someplace that's relatively shut to the prom.

Make your dinner reservations early. Places fill up quickly near prom fourth dimension. Play it condom by locking downward reso's a month to three weeks in advance. Tell the restaurant how many you plan to have in your political party. If they can't accommodate your group, you'll need to look somewhere else.

Get a Straight Razor Shave and a Haircut

Girls ordinarily treat themselves to a pedicure, manicure, and a trip to the hairstylist before prom. Who says the guys can't pamper themselves a bit before the big nighttime, too? The dude equivalent to girls' pre-prom ritual is a straight razor shave and a haircut at a barber shop. Call around the shops in your town.

Get Ready

Start getting set up an hr or so before prom. Shower up, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put on your tuxedo. Assemble everything you'll demand for the evening–corsage, prom tickets, after-prom party tickets, cash, and mints. Put the tickets, cash, and mints in your within jacket pockets and the corsage in the motorcar. Throw an umbrella in the car too–if it rains, your date will be none besides happy if her carefully crafted up-practise gets ruined. Now requite yourself a look in the mirror and point at your reflection like the Fonz. Tonight's going to be a great night.

Skip the Stretch Limo

Despite what you've seen in movies and television shows, stretch limousines aren't fun. I can't recall a single feel in a stretch limo where I was like, "Man, I feel like a balla'!" Instead I was like, "Man, I'm feeling cramped. And what's that funky smell coming from the seat?" With so many people in the car, you'll be cramped and hot, and you'll pay some guy a lot of money to feel cramped and hot. In my opinion, it'south simply not worth it.

Just use your own car and carpool with your friends. Y'all'll save money and you'll ride in comfort.

Pick Up Your Date

Many of the guidelines that we laid out on picking up your appointment in Road Map to the Perfect Commencement Engagement apply for picking up your date for prom besides. Brand sure your machine is clean, go far on fourth dimension, and come to the door with your corsage. Warmly greet her parents with a grinning and business firm handshake. Chances are your date is still doing some last minute gussying upward. Make some pocket-sized talk with her parents–compliment their house. Tell them about the restaurant you're going to. Also permit them know your plans for afterwards prom and when they should await their daughter volition be home.

When your engagement enters the room, requite her a large smile, walk over and requite her a hug, and immediately compliment how she looks. She probably spent all day getting fix for tonight. Suggested compliments: "Y'all expect stunning!" or "That dress looks astonishing on you."

You and your appointment volition at present exchange corsages and boutonnieres. Traditionally, your date is supposed to pivot the boutonniere on y'all and you're supposed to identify the corsage on your engagement. Placing a wrist corsage on your date isn't hard; pinning a corsage on her dress is trickier. In my experience, moms commonly get involved with the pinning part when they run into the guy stick himself with the pin 5 times. Let them help.

Her parents will probably want to snap some photos. When that's done, caput towards the car and open up the door for your date.

Pre-Prom Pictures

Be like grandad. No hover easily.

Parents will want to take pictures earlier you and your engagement head over to prom. It seems the girls were really into it and the guys just tolerated information technology. At my high school, the pre-prom photo session was a big event. Our prom night group would gather at someone's firm, dozens of parents (usually the moms) would show up with cameras, and the hosting family unit would have hors d'oeuvres for people to eat. Mom's would gush over how pretty the girls looked, while the dads that showed up mostly stood by the food table munching on cheese and crackers.

Whether your pre-prom motion-picture show event is merely you and your engagement at her business firm or a big consequence, be cooperative and smile. Information technology will make the experience better for everyone. Also, NO HOVER HANDS! In pictures of just you and your date, proper arm placement is behind the small of the girl'south back with your manus resting on her waist. Capice?

Dinner

Afterwards pictures, caput over to the restaurant. Make sure you get in that location at the fourth dimension of your reservation. If y'all and your group are running late, call the eating place and allow them know. When you go to the table, and if information technology's convenient, pull out your appointment's chair and assist her in her seat.

Remember your basic table manners. Napkin in laps, cell phones off, elbows off the table. When your food arrives, don't outset eating until everyone has been served. Intermission the stereotype that many waiters have about loftier schoolers beingness loud, rude, and poor tippers.  Be on your best behavior; the pre-prom meal sets the tone for a special and classy evening. Care for your server with respect and tip them generously after your meal.

Prom

Finally. It's fourth dimension for the big event. When I attended prom, I e'er planned to go far nigh 45 minutes to an hour afterward it started. That volition allow enough time for things to get going. When you enter, you'll need to give your tickets to the ticket person. The first thing yous'll desire to do is have your picture while you and your date are still looking fresh. Usually there's some kinda-cheesy background based on your prom's theme. Accept your moving-picture show and then go stake out a table.

Make certain to go out on the trip the light fantastic floor as much as possible. That's what you're there to do, right? Feel free to take off your tuxedo coat and identify it somewhere rubber. Information technology'due south completely acceptable. You don't want to get a sweaty mess.

Don't be the guy who's likewise cool or also shy to dance. Get out in that location and let loose. You're eighteen years erstwhile, you're with your best friends, and life is good. Have fun! However, it should exist noted that grinding your twigs and berries on your date's backside does non rising to the definition of "dancing."

When you slow trip the light fantastic toe with your date, you can accept a couple of approaches. You can go with the center school-mode, hands on your appointment's waist and her hands draped around your cervix while you sway side-to-side in the aforementioned place. Personally, I liked to mix things up a scrap with turns and swirls and dips and whatnot, so I commonly assumed a more traditional trip the light fantastic toe position with my right arm around my appointment's waist and left hand holding her right hand. While you probably won't have room (or the music) to practice a waltz, this position offers more possibilities also simply swaying awkwardly.

Fifty-fifty if your date has turned out to exist a dud, or you paired off through some less than platonic circumstances and y'all weren't excited to go with her in the first place, don't ditch your appointment at the dance. No affair what happens, you're her escort, and you should stay by her side for well-nigh of the evening. If you want to go your dissever ways subsequently the dance and relish the rest of the dark separately, then be information technology.

After-Prom Festivities

The official prom is over. A king and queen have been crowned, you danced, and lots of pictures were taken. But prom however isn't over. Nosotros're now entering the phase of the prom night ritual that's fraught with parental worry and hand-wringing: the later on-prom party. Movies and TV have created a powerful narrative that later on-prom is the time for young high schoolers to go plastered at a giant party and finally lose their virginity at some seedy motel.

Y'all don't demand to practise that.

By all means have fun, but do and so without the alcohol, drugs, and sex. Make prom night something y'all'll remember fondly 20 years from at present and non something that will make you lot cringe whenever you're reminded of it. Also, go along in mind that as a prom goer in the 21st century, you have to deal with something that high schoolers just ten years ago didn't have to remember about: smartphone cameras and Facebook. What you practise on prom night volition probably be cataloged by friends on their cameras and they'll probably share it on their Facebook profiles. Don't appoint in any behavior that you wouldn't want shared publicly. That picture of you doing keg stands in your tux might come up back and haunt y'all.

I was fortunate enough to live in a school district where the parents put on a large afterward-prom party for the iii high schools in the area. They'd rent a local entertainment park for the entire dark and give the kids free rein on the park. Information technology was a blast and offered some of the all-time memories of my prom nights.

If your school doesn't offer some sort of after-prom party, y'all can make up your own after prom activities. Kate and her friends followed prom with a bonfire, some hot tubbing, and an early breakfast dorsum at her place prepared by her parents. And everyone had a nail.

The Door

Brand sure to go your engagement back at the fourth dimension you told her parents you lot would. Get out of the car and walk her to the door. Thank her for the bang-up time. If it seems right, by all ways become in for the kiss. While generally a buss on the offset engagement can be iffy, everyone is primed and kind of hoping for something romantic or at to the lowest degree memorable and out of the ordinary to happen on prom dark. So go for it and so see her into her business firm. Walk back to your car, get habitation, and become to sleep. You just made some keen memories, my friend.

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